Spring Fashion

For you fashion savvy individuals, my current job at Saks 5th Ave gives me some insider information on current fashion. This is what will be in this spring for both men and women according to the buyers.

If you're looking to be in style this season pay close attention.


MEN'S SPRING 2007










NAVY BLAZER

a nicely cut, spring weight navy blazer is definitely our first among equals this spring
dresses up casual looks, even shorts; keeps dressy events from being too stuffy
the deeper the navy tones the more versatile the blazer











WHITE JEANS

they're jeans so they're cool, but they're white so they're more polished than your average denim
try them with a great short sleeve shirt, stands out in a good way
they take a navy blazer into the sporty zone, champ











SHORT SLEEVE SHIRT

the tailored shirt got a reprieve from cuffs, just as right, just cooler than before
you are allowed to pop up the collar but only when you're alone on the beach with the dogs
plaids, patterns all in easy-on-the-eye colors











RUGBY SHIRT

speaking of sporty, in terms of shirts it doesn't get any more winning than this
we like the stripes in mixed colors best
the white collar hooks up with the white jean without looking premeditated











SPORTY SUNGLASSES

aerodynamics are the key, sleek, hints of motocross styling
aviators are always right, this spring squared up a bit
think skiers, skydivers, cyclists, Steve McQueen











STREET SNEAKERS

when we say street, we're thinking more urbane than urban
ergonomics meet foot art, look for organic shapes and colors
try them with your new seersucker suit for a sporting footnote











CLASSIC SWIMSUIT

a classic suit is just the right length trunk in a easy-going tropical print
square cuts and even swimmer suits can be classic, as long as they're graphic and dark
check out the new hybrid suits, part swimsuit, part walking shorts












DRESSED UP SHORTS

put a blazer over shorts and you've taken the whole afternoon to the next level
call it Global Warming, but shorts are more acceptable more places than ever, as long as you've dressed them up a bit
leave the printed t-shirt at home, drop on the tailored short sleeve shirt instead











SEERSUCKER

seersucker is cool this spring, literally and figuratively
makes a great blazer for dressing up or down
in shorts or pants it's the subtlest way to have a sporting stripe



WOMEN'S SPRING 2007












CHIC DAY DRESS

it's the ultimate in one-piece dressing
look for extra-feminine details like eyelet, tiny ruffles and soft colors
short is the sweetest length, from an inch above the knee to as high as you dare to go, just stay in your comfort zone
remember a mini can be a tad more modest doubling as a tunic over slim pants












COCKTAIL DRESS

the pretty/posh party dress has returned in the biggest way
choose short and fluttery or slightly longer and leaner
a metallic shoe ups the glamour quotient











CRISP WHITE SHIRT

in a season of ultra-femininity, this tailored classic is a refreshing alternative
bright white is the light half of the graphic spectator trend
pair it with a black skirt, trousers, or even a slim city short











FLAT SHOE

the dancer flat keeps the flightly spring silhouette demurely grounded
try flats with the mini dress, trousers, almost anything this spring
here, too, metallics put a little extra glamour into your daytime look












PLATFORM SHOE

in the transition toward the pretty pump, this is the height of style
don't forget heels on a platform are not just for night, try them with jeans
keep it lively with animal prints or mixed metals











SHORTS

there's no stopping women's love affair with shorts...of all lengths
the long slim short is spring's alternative to the skirt or pants
try an oversized blouse or shirt to give the silhouette balance












HAND-HELD BAG

the evolution of the clutch, best small and smart
this is a good spot for a touch of spring's hot metals
look for textures, like woven and quilted leathers, and wristlet handles












HIGH-WAISTED BELT

wear the new belts, as wide as they come, above the natural waist
it cinches the silhouette of spring, which starts high and stays there
another strategic way to add a flash of metallics








FLORAL FRAGRANCE

when ruffles and roses are in the air, a sweet garden-born scent can't be far behind
look for notes from subtle exotics like neroli with just a touch of tuberose
indulge your romantic fantasies more often, wear florals every day



fashion, style, shopping

Pickup 101 Intro Seminar – What are you waiting for?!

So, let me lay down some experience. And I’m not talking dating advice here; I’m talking about how to make a change in your life. Having started from an unhappy guy to a guy satisfied with his love life – I want to let you know the deal.

If you’re actually going to make a change – then do it. Don’t wait around for your inner game to get better, to memorize a few routines, or to practice your openers.

Having known about the community – and all the concepts – for years now I can say one thing.

Reading didn’t help me get better once. It helped me to change the way I thought, but in terms of affecting my ability to meet girls it has minimal returns.

When you take a pickup101 workshop, you won’t learn anything that you couldn’t read about somewhere on the internet. There truly aren’t any secret revolutionary concepts that we save ONLY for workshops.

I’m serious, go read some reviews. They’ll talk about all of the concepts, exercises, and advice that we give. Read enough of them and I’ll bet you could put together a pretty good manual to refer too.

You know why we don’t care that something like this could even exist? I mean, aren’t all of our “trade secrets” going to get out? The answer is NO, because we have no reason to hide it.

We have no reason to hide it because it really won’t help anyone.

Think about it. How do you get better at public speaking, by reading or by practicing? How do you learn how to act, by reading or by practicing? How do learn stand up comedy, by reading or by practicing?

Interacting with people is a physical skill – NOT a intellectual one. So, then why wouldn’t your physically practice? This concept it really the core of why Pickup101 workshops are so effective. It has EVERYTHING to do with practicing.

Hell, ask our interns if even being present at a workshop helps. These guys get to sit front row and center in on the whole weekend, but do NOT participate at all other then observing. They’ll tell you it was cool, but it doesn’t even come close to actually participating in the exercises.

Having said this, I get really frustrated at intro-seminars. I get frustrated because guys who come spend $50 to come see what we’re about. If you decide after that it’s not for you – that’s totally cool. The people who drive me nuts are the guys who really want to take the workshop, but don’t.

They spend enough time and money on the internet researching us, paying the money, coming down to the seminar, listening for two hours, and chatting to us afterwards. They think waiting is going to make a difference.

They need to wait until they fix their inner game, learn new openers, learn new routines, or whatever else. They fail to realize that this will in fact make it harder later. They’ll be so caught up thinking that they won’t be able to ACT.

That’s really what this is about – taking action. Who cares if you know what you’re supposed to do, but can’t actually do it. Sure, you may give great advice to your friends, how does that help you?

And the money…it’s never a good time to spend $2,000, but I personally found the workshop more rewarding than my college education which cost me $20,000. And I spent that money without thinking twice.

But let’s really talk about the money, because that always seems to be the issue. Ever thought about the opportunity cost of the money for you economically oriented guys?

I have spent tons of money on women - flowers, dinners, drinks, dates. If I really had to think about how much I have actually spent on a woman, I might actually cry. And I’ve never even been married and had to pay for a ring, a wedding, a house, or kids. What happens when that all fails apart because you settled on a woman, rather then marrying someone you really were into. Someone you could handle because you have the experience.

Have you seen what the cost of a divorce really looks like?

Why NOT spend that money on yourself so that instead of making some woman happy, you can make yourself happy. Empower yourself rather then taking her on a date. How many bad dates do you have to go on before you realize that you have wasted $2,000. How much will you kick yourself in the butt a year from now knowing that you could have taken this, but instead you wasted $2,000 and have NOTHING to show for it?

Spend that money on yourself rather then someone else. Make your own life better. You’re going to spend it somewhere, maybe not all at once, but somewhere. Hold off buying that new LCD TV, golf clubs, or computer and spend it on something that is truly going to make a difference in your life.

Spend the money on making your relationships better instead of things to occupy your time distracting from being unhappy about the fact that you have no woman in your life to share it with.

Or don’t….

When you come to that workshop, I’m not going to ask you why you’re not going to take it. You won’t need to make any excuses to me.

The only excuse that you’ll need to make is to yourself.

pickup 101

Female Friends, Social Circles, and the quickest way to get better with Women

I have always kept female friends around. It’s always included girls that I have always been completely platonic with and girls that I have dated, either seriously or casually. I’m the type of person I like having friends around and I especially can appreciate female energy.

I realize though not all guys are like this. Some guys just like having guys around. Maybe just because that’s what they’re used too. Some guys don’t keep many friends around at all. But, something that I have noticed is that guys who are truly good with women keep just as many female friends as they do male friends.

Interesting. Seems obvious doesn’t it? If you’re reading this, I’m sure you’d like to improve your skills with women. So, let me ask you? How many close female friends do you have?

If you don’t, how come?

If you don’t have a lot of close female friends around you, I’d be willing to bet that you never really have had close female friends – other then a girlfriend here and there. If you want to get better at reading and understanding women, the quickest way is to have female friends.

I was talking to some “PUAs” the other day. By the way, I don’t like that acronym and use it to describe guys new that think it’s about tips, tricks and techniques – basically out of touch with reality.

Anyways, they were talking about how they never stay friends because they make the “ho say no.” I think there is an element to the statement that can helpful to certain guys who aren’t used to escalating, but that’s typically not the context for it. Whatever the case, these guys basically thought keeping female friends was NOT important.

So for you “PUAs” out there who think this isn’t important, ever heard of social circle game? For you guys that understand money – not women, let me put it this way. Female friends are not all that different from making financial investments where you can make residual income. One female friend that you keep a genuinely close connection with can be your gateway to many other women. In fact if you meet a very social chick who’s cool, you potentially could have a limitless supply of her friends always in and out of the dynamic.

The rest of the world, who doesn’t like to meet people in bars, coffee shops, grocery stores, speed dating events, likes to meet through their social circle. In fact, this is the preferred way for most of the world to meet people.

Just like VISA and MASTERCARD.

So, let me offer so different advice. You could go out and do 10 cold approaches and try and date those women. Maybe it will work out, maybe it won’t, but in either case you’ll only have access to those ten women.

Or

You could go out and make 10 female friends. You can practice flirting with them, you can connect with them, and never escalate to something physical. When it’s said and done you have the opportunity to meet more women, then just those ten women, by just being friends with them.

Think about it, just because things are platonic doesn't mean you can't practice flirting. You make 10 new friends and you have 10 new people that you can practice flirting with - this is how you really make a lasting change. I flirt with everyone because I have become that guy. I practiced it until it became natural and I started by practicing on my female friends.

If you like to talk about “modeling reality” and “naturals” this is what they do. "Naturals" keep girls around them all the time, platonic and non-platonic. They always keep women around who are friends, and those women always bring more women around, and they didn’t have to do one single cold approach and are still very successful with lots of different women on a regular basis.

Think about it.

Bantering on the Fly

So, since I’ve been dubbed the banter king by a bunch of my fellow instructors I tend to get a lot of coaching clients that want me to teach them banter. The good news is most of these guys come to me for the right reasons. They don’t ask me to teach them all of my own personal banter lines, but how they can get to a point where they can banter on their own and improv.

One of the very important things is building your intuition. A lot of people might refer to this as cold reading, but I think it’s different. I think the idea of a cold read and warm are misleading to guys just learning social dynamics.

The idea of a cold and a warm read implies that when you first met someone you don’t know anything about them. Then after speaking with them you “learn” thing s about them. I hate the terms and generally don’t use them because I think there is a different scale.

I think everyone had a natural intuition. Intuition seems like one of the hippy tree-hugger words, but I think it’s more legitimate then that. I think that we are able to learn a lot about someone by just looking at them.

What are they wearing, how do they stand, how do they walk? Where are they looking? Do they look up, straight ahead, or at their feet when they walk? When the encounter people around them, how do they react? When they talk what does their voice sound like? How articulate are they are? What type of slang vernacular, or accent do they have or use?

Whether or not you are consciously aware of these things, they have a huge impact on your assessment of someone. Developing your “intuition” is really honing your skills to read between the lines.

If I were to meet someone, I could have a conversation with them in about 20 seconds with absolutely NO real content and be able to guess a lot of things about: what type of person they are, what their life is life, how confident they are, where they grew up, what type of relationships they’ve had in the past, and what type of day they’re having right now. There literally millions of assessments that you could make about someone very quickly.

Now, most people might argue that Yes, you could make those assessments, but how many times would you be right? The secret is that, you don’t have to be. When you’re wrong people correct you and then tell you the real deal – TO PROVE that you’re wrong.
But, each time this happens your intuition gets better because you start building this database of experience with meeting people and making quick assessments of them. If you don’t believe you can do this, then go read the book “Blink” for a change of perspective on this subject,

Obviously these skills are great for rapport….But they’re also KILLER for banter.

So, lets say you see someone and you get an intuition about them. You banter is merely you expressing that in a fun and playful way. Please read again: FUN and PLAYFUL.

Example 1:

Intuition: You get the feeling that this high class woman that you met at the bar 5 minutes ago, is actually a big dork and not as sophisticated as she tries to come off.

Banter: “You’re cute because you try to come off as this powerful and sophisticated woman, but I get the feeling you’re really a big closest dork that likes to stay home and watch cartoons in your underwear.”

Example 2:

Intuition: You are in line a Starbucks and the college student looking chick in front of you is fumbling through her purse and can’t find something. She is obviously frazzled.

Banter: “Are you alright (with a big smile)? It’s one of “THOSE” days, huh? Yeah, but those are great days though because they always end up starting like crap and just ending with a couple rounds martini’s and then it gets significantly better.”

So in both cases you use your intuition to figure something out about someone. Once you have made some assumption about someone, you present that to them in a fun and playful way.

Stayed tuned for finding ways to present information people in fun ways that gets laughs.

A Secret to the Art of Rapport

I have taught at a couple of Art of Rapport classes and one of the things that we teach is that it is paramount to form an emotional connection with women.

One of the things that we teach is to go into what we call deep rapport. This is sharing emotionally relevant topics that tend to be somewhat persona; This is rather the surface and superficial topics that don’t really have any emotional content.

One of the things that we teach is to ask questions that get progressively deeper in content in regards to emotions. A silly, but common example would be to ask:
1. What’s your favorite ice cream?
2. Where did you grow up?
3. Have you ever been in love?

You’ll notice that the question might be silly, but they get progressively deeper in content. This is pretty obvious, but a lot of people have a hard time actually doing this. The main reason is that if you meet someone in a grocery store and talk to them for five minutes and ask questions like this girls sometimes react funny.

A lot of guys think that this is because this doesn’t work. That’s actually not the case at all. Whenever you want to think about what works and what doesn’t, take the time to stop and think about it you were a girl.

So, the scenario is that you’re a girl grocery shopping on a Wednesday evening and a guy walks up to you, he makes small talk, makes you laugh, but then asks you a question like: Have you ever been in love?

Most guys think that the drop from “where did you grow up” to “have you ever been in love” is just too quick. After talking to girls and testing a lot of things I came up with an analogy. A question that like is asking you to reveal a lot about yourself to someone you really don’t know.

Image a doorway with an open door. On the other side of that doorway is a pitch black room. You’re standing in the doorway looking into a black abyss with someone asking you to walk into the room. They want you to go first while they stand there a just watch. In your mind, something feels off and it doesn’t make sense for you to walk into this dark room. On some level fundamentally you don’t trust them and it feels wrong to walk into the room. Are they messing with you? Are they setting you up? Is something going to jump out and get me? Are the going to slam the door and lock me? Why would someone ask you to do that? So, like most people – you DECLINE the invitation.

But on the other hand, if that person walked through that doorway first, turned on the lights, and showed something really special, you would have no problem walking through that door.

So, to answer the question, most guys mess up because they ask a question with out revealing that answer about themselves FIRST. A girl will not tell you intimate details about herself until you reveal something first. She will not make an investment like that in someone new unless they give a little first. What happens though after you share something is that people tend to open and share back. This isn’t even a guy-girl thing – this is a people thing.

This is what friends do when they're having heart to hearts. This tends to be the really heavy stuff, but you can do this with any story of varying level of emotional meaning.

If she does open up without you sharing first I would challenge you that something was probably off. Every so often you meet a very healthy well-adjusted girl, but most people don’t go around telling intimate details of there life unless they have emotional baggage and issues.

People like this tend to be emotionally shallow, jaded, or needy people. These people tend to be pretty drama filled mostly because the girls aren’t totally emotionally stable. This is pretty common among strippers and coke head party girls. But, if you really want to date strippers you might be able to find that ONE emotional stable drug free healthy stripper in every million.

So, next time you’re getting to know someone, trying sharing a story first and I think you’ll be surprised that most people will share an equally emotionally relevant story back.

Pickup 101 History – Time to stop being humble…

So, I’ve run into a problem lately. I’m actually a pretty humble guy in a lot of ways. It’s not my style to brag about stuff or throw it up in people’s faces, but I feel like in ONE particular area I have done myself a disservice by being humble - my creditability as an instructor.

A lot of people don’t really know who I am within the Pickup 101 family relative to everyone else. I don’t want to take away from any of the guys as they’re all talented and I’m friends with all of them. The difference is that I personally work for Pickup 101 as a part-time instructor. A lot of the guys have made the conversion to the full-time level and taken on more responsibility. I might in time, but for now I have started a brand new job for a reputable company as my second promotion in two years and I just moved across the country to New York City. So it’s fair to say I have a full-plate right now.

But, what’s driving me nuts is that when I teach a lot of guys haven’t heard of me and think I’m a new coach – I’m definitely not new. Not that I am in a pissing contest with anyone else, but it annoying that I have to prove myself to new students every workshop because I have stayed out of the limelight for the most part.

In fact with the exception of Lance and Daniel I have been around the longest – albeit not in the same capacity as other instructors like Sean Newman. If you want to talk Pickup 101 history, I was one of the few guys still here that actually was taught by Lance and Wilder. For those of you who don’t know, Wilder was Lance’s original business partner.

Sean Newman and myself both attended Everything You Know About Women is Wrong Seminar together.

For those of you who remember Nate, Garrison, and Grant, I regularly went out with them. In fact, we formed a mastermind group called Bulletproof together where we worked intensely on our game for months meeting twice and week and drilling. We ran in-house workshops together and taught each other a lot.

Dennis and Derek of Social Savant are good friends of mine. Derek and myself attended AoA together and taught at both of Dennis’ workshops for Pickup101. Both have gone on to become very talented in their own right.

Anyways, my point is that all of the people above will more than vouch for my skills along with everyone within Pickup101. I have stayed out of the limelight, but that’s going to change if for nothing else to give myself some creditability with new students who come to take workshops.

(steps off soapbox)

I personally hate rants like that because it sounds like I’m whining (cause I am), but I just wanted to put it out there if people care to look. Charismatic Conversations will be coming out soon and I that will showcase some of my stuff. Stay tuned for hidden videos, because that it my goal for the next few months - that and getting back to my fighting weight. Too much partying lately.

Project New York or Playboy Mansion East?

Ok, ok, ok. I’ve been gone, but…Fck! I just moved to New York and I’m currently living in a studio apartment with 5 guys!

Ok, ok, ok it’s really not that bad. In fact it’s actually really good. I moved into a 2,500 sq ft duplex with a private additional 1,000sq ft roof deck overlooking the manhattan sky line with built in sound system and jaccuzi. It also is a totally custom place with blue iridium tile bathroom, feng shue wood panel walls, additional loft level, and a custom kictchen. Right now, they’re constructing the loft level to put two additional bedrooms for my roomies Sean, Ben, Dan, and Frank. Until then we're sort of confined to a 500 sq ft section of the house.

Now, that I’m sort of getting settled, I will continue as planned. Here are a few pics.