Women and Drama

Guys don’t get drama – which means they also don’t get women.

Some women are dramatic. Like screw loose day time telenueve f*cked three ways to the weekend crazy. You should avoid these women. Really. I’m totally serious. These women will put you in a grave years before you should be. Read this if you don’t believe me.

But many other girls are fairly normal happy women who at times do get dramatic. Drama is always intensely emotional – by definition, but what guys don’t realize what is at the root of drama.

Close relationships with women entail a few really important elements. Those elements involve being emotional insynch and attuned with each other.

Something that happens in a healthy relationship is that it creates a safe and secure base for both people in the relationship. From the safety, comfort, and connection of the relationship you feel free to explore the world in confidence. This is a fundamental element to ALL human relationships. This is the foundation of parenting that is extended into intimate romantic relationships.

In a significant relationship, you need to be able to quickly assess the emotional state of the other person. This emotional state gives context to their behavior. This is how couples or best friends can read each other so well.

When you become out of synch and out of emotional attunement you are either unable or less able to read the other persons emotional state.

This is the root cause of drama.

Women intentionally, albeit not consciously, create drama to re-attune and get back into synch with you.

Let that sink in…

Women use drama to FORCE an emotional reaction so that they can understand how you REALLY feel. Dramatic events are always emotionally intense. When women can’t read you and know what you’re thinking and feeling, they won’t be able to understand the context of your behavior.

They can’t tell if a snide comment was because you had a bad day, or because there’s a problem with the relationship.

This problem compounds itself overtime. Every time you have a misunderstanding or tiff that goes unresolved, it puts a small divide in between both people that puts you out of synch.

It builds and builds if you don't resolve it in some way. This can grow to the point that you are completely OUT of touch with the other person in the relationship to the point where you don’t know how they feel anymore.

Drama is an attempt to cross that barrier between two people so that they re-synch and attune to each other. Often times, this means resolving those little issues that were never resolved.

Most guys aren't expressive enough of their emotions. That's what drama is about. When your girl can't read you, she forces an emotional response through her drama.

She gives you NO choice except to react emotionally one way or the other. From that reaction she can gauge how you feel about her. Drama forces an emotional reality check.

A lot of drama is displayed through anger and frustration. In a certain way, this venting is better then no venting at all because you give her the opportunity to become in synch with you again. All she wants is to know what you're feeling and for you to feel what she's feeling.

So the big question is…

How do you avoid drama?

Well, it’s about staying emotionally attuned and in synch in the relationship. Reading her micro-emotions and feeding them back to her communicates that you understand her. If you pick up on the nuances of her mood and let her know you feel her, you ever her a girl tell you that you just don’t understand her.

The other half of that is you need to express yourself and your micro-emotions. Guys think they can mask or down play emotions in relationships. In reality you can’t.

Even if you think you’re being sly, women are more intuitive then men and will always pick up those signals. And when you try to hide them she knows and resents you for lying about how you really feel.

So, the key is really to staying present and in synch with each other. The drama stems from someone NOT being understood and taking a moment to empathize saves you from drama and heart attacks.