Sneak preview into new stuff...

So, I want to lay down some new ideas I’ve had. These ideas are a sneak preview into the direction that I plan on steering the company. Having taught through Pickup101 for the last 2 years, I’ve had plenty experience with helping guys. In that time I have picked up on some key processes that are necessary for guys to get to the next level.

At the foundation there is an overall change of perspective. It’s important for guys to look at the world and the women in it differently then they have. At its core, it’s about realizing that your success with women is reflective of your behaviors with women and not a measure of your intrinsic worth. It may seem obvious when said aloud, but it's the very first issue most guys have. Lots of guys who aren’t confident with women constantly struggle with self-esteem issues, but the first step in that struggle is realizing it’s not YOU, it’s what YOU DO.

After getting past that first step, it’s time to take inventory of your current behaviors. This part is tough to go through. You have to open yourself up to criticism and push your comfort zone by trying new behaviors. This is really at the core of what we used to focus on at Pickup101 during the Art of Attraction program. This is where we worked hard to fix body language, facial expressions, vocal delivery, witty banter, and other physical tics. This is where we focused on creating a better first impression.

When students graduated to Art of Rapport, we taught the same thing except geared towards being in NON-social situations. That was also combined with teaching how to move into light and deep rapport. The class evolved in to really helping guys tap into their own emotions, so that they COULD actually connect with women. After practicing that in the safe environment it was much easier for guys to open up to women and have deeper relationships.

Art of Rapport fundamentally changed our goals in the end and was a main difference in our philosophy from Pickup101. Every time, as instructors, we taught it, we tapped into our own emotions. We eventually came to realize a bigger and more meaningful picture both through teaching the class and living out our personal lives.

We realized that a lot of guys got caught up in the “conquer and conquest” attitude. Some think that’s what they want, and others think that’s what they’re supposed to want. I don’t think going through periods of your life like that are bad. I have done it and feel like I am better for it.

I know that for a guy who has had little success he also has some catching up to do. I know that he actually does need to date around to prove to himself he’s worthy enough. It’s a silly exercise in validation, but those experiences really cement confidence with women deep inside of you. There’s a very real, visceral, and lasting confidence that comes from the experience of dating around. As much as the can be beneficial for some, it tends to derail more guys then not. When they’re not dating three or four women they feel unsuccessful. Or they get so caught up in the validation aspect that they lose themselves and women merely become a vehicle for validation and self-worth.

I can see this in guys because I have fallen victim to both of those.

So, in the new company we want to keep a healthy perspective on dating and what counts as success. I think 99% of guys want to eventually settle down in monogamous relationship. So, I don’t want to sabotage guy’s long term goals by accomplishing short term goals at the expense of bad habits.

The last piece of the puzzle is the most elusive. We can teach you the mechanics and we can guide you down a safe path, but the last piece isn’t so tangible. In my experience, some guys get it, and some guys don’t. I can always tell the difference between guys who will improve quickly and guys who will flounder. These guys have this final piece already and just needed some mechanics and a guide down the path. Looking at myself, I definitely already had this piece and always attributed it to my strong skills with women.

The final piece is the art of human interaction.

The community talks about social “calibration.” I don’t believe I’ve read anything extensive on the subject because it is so hard to describe. The mechanical part we teach in Art of Attraction helps with the fundamentals of it, but it’s much harder to address the nuances. And nuances are where it matters the most.

If you ask my room-mates they will all conclusively agree that I’m a researcher and analyst at heart. When I start talking about certain subjects they almost can’t comprehend what I am talking about half the time. And this particular subject really piqued my interest.

So, I started readin up on the subject and found some really interesting ideas that revolved around intuition, emotional intelligence, social intelligence, tacit learning, tacit communication, non-verbal cues, pacing, empathetic accuracy, emotional attunement, synchrony, etc.

This research I have been reading isn’t written by some self proclaimed guru (like myself), but written by psychologists and published in professional journals. I’m excited because right now I am piecing a road map based on my experience in teaching and their research that will eventually go into a curriculum.

The stuff is extremely cool, because it is validating my experience with teaching.

Some guys get the subtly and some don’t.

Interacting with women is as much about reading the other person as it is about creating a better self. This skill has such far reaching benefits to every guy’s life in general that I think it’s going to a big impact.

I’m going to start diving into some new arenas in my writing over the next few months as I continue to synthesize my ideas with what is on the forefront of science right now.

Over and out.

Joe